Top 20 Technically Correct Statements

  1. At some point the brain named itself.
  2. It’s only premarital sex if you end up getting married
  3. At one point I was the youngest person in the world.
  4. Crude oil is organic.
  5. I have traveled here from the year 1990 it just took me a while. 
  6. Life is sexually transmitted and always fatal
  7. Most crime is committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
  8. Love comes from the brain - boners come from the heart.
  9. If you put your ear on to a strangers leg you can actually hear him/her saying “What the fuck are you doing?”
  10. Half of the world’s population is below average intelligence.
  11. All crimes in UK are committed within 55 miles of the sea.
  12. Serotonin and dopamine are technically the only two things you enjoy.
  13. All words are made up words.
  14. Cats are made entirely out of cat food, and water.
  15. You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  16. Oil is technically a renewable resource.
  17. 100% of people struck by lightning die.
  18. Today I’m the oldest I’ve ever been and the youngest I’ll ever be.
  19. Studies show that if your grandmother had children, you are more likely to have children.
  20. Seat belts increase cancer rates.

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